Friday, December 24, 2010

Time for Mark's Holiday posting, 2010

Well, goodness, that time of the year again, when the Geezer reflects on doins’ and dealins’, then takes electrons to fingertips to blather those observations and obfuscations.

So, sit back, and learn from my wit and wisdom. This should not take long, and no brain cells were destroyed in production of this spew.

This has been a four star year for me. Most are, life is too short not to have it so.

I got a job back in Everett, and enjoy my 8 minute commute; all are happy save for the a-rabs, because they sell me less gas. My new job is in HR (gasp!). My old peeps in South Park bet I would only go 2 months without getting a smackdown for being politically incorrect, but I made it 8 months without the written warning for (insert drum roll and rimshot) referring to myself as an old guy, and for having Ms. Wonderful, a talking doll given to me be a dear friend I don’t see often, on my desk. Been there the 5 years I have been at the lazy B, never been a problem. She says things you may hear about your house, like, “sure you want me to wash this shirt, you’ve only worn it a few times” and “let me take the garbage out, I need the exercise”. Really offensive stuff, but an anonymous complainant (I know who it is, a co-worker, who volunteers for Wimmin’s Industries, Inc., who is often on the other side of the issues I work for). Whatta beyatch. Anyway, got written up, with the notation that “HR must adhere to a higher standard”. Funny, heard that a couple of times, and asked where that standard is memorialized, so I can follow the rules. It isn’t. Same “higher standard” that was quoted when I wore shorts ONE day this summer. You know me, testing, testing. Yes, it is legal. Yes, the last two summers I wore them every day. Heck, my t-shirt was of the pocket variety, not that safety lime green one I have with the pic of the pole dancer on it, that says “I support single Moms”

I save that one for when I have meetings with misandrous judges from Hazard County (Thurston, to the uninitiated) or where representatives of Wimmin’s Industries, Inc are in attendance. Yea, the same cabal that refers to us when we walk into the room with a “here come the usual suspects”. Such respect they show for all.

On, whining mode off.

Made it up in the mountains a few times, nice hikes, nice days great company. Ran into one gent I knew from Tacoma, who I had not seen for 30 years. Good thing he had a name tag on! Been running into lots of folks, one just today that used to pour me coffee at Chez Denny at Island Crossing. I didn’t recognize her, and lemme tell ya, it is unnerving to have a woman come up to you on the street and say “I know you”, when you don’t at all recognize her.

Took a ride on a Zeppelin, the largest airship in the world. Cost an arm and a leg, but hey, it was fun. Happy Birthday, from me to me. Also rode on Mr. WSDOT’s snowplow when they opened the North Cascades Highway. That took two years of jonesing, and a kind and sympathetic newspaper publisher I know. They insisted that they only take journalists, so, I became one for a day. I promised the publisher pix and a story, and I got both front page, above the fold, with a byline. It amused and impressed my journo friends, who welcomed me as one of them. It bewildered my “regular” work colleagues that I was multi-talented, and it amazed me that if you go to plan B, then plan C, eventually you can get the bureaucracy to do what you want them to do.

Got to tour a Dreamlifter, a modified 747-400, with a bulbous body and cut off tail that swings open. It flies around the world to pick up parts, whole body sections, wings, and the like for our 787. Got to sit in the right seat, but nutz, can’t take pix on the Boeing property.

I did get a pix of me in the right seat of a 787, taken off the property, so legal to snap a pix. You can see me looking spiffily professional below.

In the political activity department, I have been trying to get appointed to the Evergreen State Fair Board (Monroe) for the last three years. Got some pushback from my County Council member, pushback from the appointing authority, the county executive's staff, so I got down to plan C, and found Aaron Reardon at a budget meeting. Chatted him up, as I am prone to do, and told him straight away that I wanted that appointment, and wanted an answer on my application. I reminded him that "Go pound sand, Mahnkey" is a legit answer, and just tell me that if that is the case. He was gracious, as always, said of course we want someone like you, that is a mover and shaker, and by golly, I got appointed.

In the disappointment department, I was jonesing for a chance to test the evacuation for the 787. They load it up with B employees, get some cabin crew from real airlines, turn off the lights, and we get to go down the emergency evacation slides, but only half of them work, and they t'aint telling which ones work, and which don't. Tried various types of contacts, no kewpie. After a summer meeting where Pat Shanahan, a V.P. of airplane programs spoke, I chatted him up, asked who I needed to talk to, and he gave me a name. Then I said, can I tell them Pat sent me, and he graciously said of course. However, they did the drill before that, so I didn't make that one happen. My work colleagues are aghast that I did that, but hey, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, and I worked briefly for one of his direct reports, so had some previous interaction with him.

So, those were the great adventures. Made it up to Whistler on Memorial Day, not much mud, no snow, and no people. Had one of the glass bottomed Peak-to-Peak gondolas to myself, a normally impossible task. Made it to the ocean last weekend, storms, hail, lightning, and yup, no people. 248 unit place at Long Beach and TWO cars in the parking lot. Not much problem getting an upgrade to a two bedroom suite, third floor, full ocean view. All for my geezer rate of $66. Saw-WEET.

Lastly, many have inquired about my “toasty” voice. Got some smooge on my vocal chord. Kewel full-motion video pictures in color, saw it myself. Of course to get the little camera thingy down there you gargle anesthetic, which you have to keep on your chords. They tell ya it will sound like you are talking underwater, but I think these guys inspired and prototyped waterboarding, because it felt like I was drowning, actually. So, I have this young surgeon, about the age of my youngest kids, who is going to dive in there and figure out what it is. Not to worry, easy to come out, but many have asked, so I am telling ya now. Don’t be going and taking out life insurance policies on the Geezer, I have too much more work to do, making bureaucrats and politicians do what the sheeples want, and what is right and just.

Gato and I wish you well, a bright new year, and prosperity, joyful delight, all that you deserve coming to you is my wish.

AKA The Geezer

El Gato Wishes you a Merry Christmas